Daydreaming

I've been having the same basic daydream for the past couple of months.

It involves literally walking away from the life I have now and starting over someplace new.  Finding a job as a short order cook or something equally without tons of responsibility attached.  A job where I come in, do my job, and then I'm free to spend my time any way I choose.  I also see a small cabin-like living structure.  Nothing huge.  Nothing fancy.  Just a place to sit and relax, sleep, shower.  Something a bit secluded.  Something cozy.  And out of Texas.

I'm not talking about a total disappearing act though.  I'm not wanting to "run away" from any of my problems.  I know they will still exist and will still be things I need to deal with on a daily basis.  But I am finding that I'm getting really tired of all the BS that seems to come with trying to live a "normal" and "acceptable" life.

Instead, I find that I'm beginning to believe that what is normal and acceptable for my life is whatever I decide it should be, and not what others think or tell me.  I've had the mortgage.  I've had the cars and the credit cards.  I've had all the trappings of the so-called normal life.  And now that those things are gone, I find that I really don't miss them at all.  I find that I still have too much stuff that I really have no use or need for.  I live in a one bedroom apartment now.  It's a decent size.  Everything we need is in it.  But we still have a storage space full of furniture and belongings that we never use.  It's been in storage for over 3 years now!  Every now and then I go by and check on it and see if there's anything I need to bring back to the apartment.  But there's nothing there that's really needed for day to day living.  So what's the using in having all that?  It's stuff that has been accumulated over a period of years that I no longer have any need for.

Like Tyler Durden said, "The things you own end up owning you".

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